What if it's agony now and it's just hell later on ?
You know, when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you are freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's actually kind of peaceful.
" - I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming fear that something terrible's about to happen.
- It's called hyper vigilance. The persistent feeling of being under threat.
- Maybe it's not just a feeling though, right, it's... it's like it's a panic attack. Y'know, like I can't even breathe.
- Like you're drowning.
- So, if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment... what if you chose to not open your mouth? To not let the water hit?
- Y-You do anyway, it's a reflex.
- But... if you hold off, until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?”
- Not much time.
- But more time to fight your way to the surface.
- I guess.
- More time to be rescued.
- More time to be in agonizing pain. Did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?
- If it's about surviving, isn't a little agony worth it?
- I mean, what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and... and it's just hell later on.
- Then think about something Winston Churchill once said: